The awards show that shall not be named, due to copyright weirdness, happens this Sunday. Here are some alternatives to the view from your couch.
If you’re just here for the bananas outfits (and the booze):
Oscar Bingo, free popcorn, and Champagne specials all night long.
If you’re rooting for American Hustle or The Wolf of Wall Street:
Sip Möet in the Second Floor’s private dining room while cheering on your favorite A-lister. Tickets are $86 per person, which for some of us would require an American Hustle-style con to pull off. Wear your fancy best.
If you’re rooting for Philomena or Nebraska:
Justification for this association: Philomena involves the Irish-Catholic community, and there’s an Irish pub right next door. Nebraska is about a man who thinks he’s won big—the name of this event has the word ‘gold’ in it. (We know, it’s a bit of a stretch.) This free big-screen party, co-hosted by the USA Film Festival, has trivia and food courtesy of Jersey Mikes. The actual awards begin at 7 p.m.
If you’re rooting for Dallas Buyers Club or 12 Years a Slave:
First of all, what better place to cheer on a movie about a little-known part of Dallas history than the movie theater that played a role in the tragic event that put Dallas on the world’s map? Also, if you’re some sort of clairvoyant and pick the closest to a full slate of the night’s winners, you’ll win a VIP badge to the Oak Cliff Film Festival. Though we know it might not come to pass, 12 Years a Slave is our personal pick for Best Picture. But hey, that’s part of the game. Ballots are $3 and benefit the fest. The theater’s bar will have drink specials all night, and admission is free.
If you’re rooting for Her:
A futuristic yet seemingly not-so-far-off movie deserves our most gorgeously minimal museum. Dress as your favorite character from an Oscar contender and you could win a prize. Oh, you in those little high-waisted…pants.
If you’re rooting for Captain Phillips or Gravity:
Go to a bar and demand they tune all the TVs to the Oscars. It’s either now a hostage situation, or you’re drinking to assuage the fear brought on by this extraordinarily realistic depiction of being lost in space.