I want to like GCB. It has a good cast and a decent premise—and I do think it’s gotten better as the season has progressed. I just wish the show could be a lot less sitcom and a little more soap opera. It needs some darkness. A sociopath returns home—destitute—after her husband is killed in a car wreck while receiving services from a mistress. That alone could make for some pretty dark and amazing story lines. But it never does. ..read more

The episode opens at—where else?—church. (These people really need to find a country club or something.) While the minister gives the reading from Genesis 2:23 (“And Adam said this is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called ‘woman’…”), Amanda’s boyfriend Luke makes a joke about boning. After the reading and the jokes, it’s time for announcements. Rip—whose accent has gone from bad to worse—announces that it’s once again time for the innerfaith barbecue ..read more

Maybe the writers of Lost could offer some advice to Big Rich Texas on how to make a good season finale. The season two finale of the train-wreck “reality” TV show was simply painful. I’ve seen more drama in infomercials.

Well, we better get to it. Pam arrives in California to kick Whitney out of Hannah’s apartment. She’s afraid that Whitney is a bad influence. Good eye, Pam. However, Hannah is making good grades and keeping her school and social lives ..read more

According to our friend Nielsen, millions of viewers are hooked on ABC’s Modern Family. Count yourself among the fans? Then get ready to be star struck.

Mitchell, Phil, and Cameron—er, make that Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Ty Burrell and Eric Stonestreet—are Dallas-bound to discuss the hit show on the Winspear stage alongside co-creator and executive producer Steve Levitan (Frasier, Just Shoot Me!) on April 24. And you guessed it: we’ve got tickets that will get you in on the action.

If you’ve ever ..read more

As we all know, everyone in Dallas has a nemesis. Mine is a certain someone who wears a smaller pant size than I do, obsesses over that darn hairdo, and can dance like the wind. I’m speaking, of course, about Tim Rogers. On last night’s GCB, we learn that even men of the cloth have frenemies. The show opens with Pastor Tudor and Amanda stealing literature from another church—a church where a number of former Hillside congregants now go. Pastor ..read more

Thankfully, Style Network got the hint. “Bonnie-Plasty” was much better than last week’s snooze fest.

We start at The Elbow Room where Hannah is celebrating her last night in Dallas before heading back to California. Since Jason took Whitney’s car away for smoking cigarettes, Whitney somehow thinks it’s ok to take his truck out for a night of drinking. Her outlook on life and how she always gets her way is just astonishing.

Side note:  Is anyone else falling in love with ..read more

Either I’m suffering from Stockholm Syndrome or my captors are producing better shows. Either way, I will tell you that this episode caused me to laugh out loud twice. Could I convince you to maybe take a break from Mad Men and watch it with me next week, and then tell me if I’m wrong? Didn’t think so.

This week, the sign over at Hillside is somewhat of a mystery. It reads, “??? is divine.” What could it mean? You’re thinking: ..read more

In honor of Easter, ABC gifted us with two episodes of GCB. I guess they couldn’t get the rights to The Greatest Story Ever Told. Anyway, the episode—entitled “Turn the Other Cheek”—opens at Hillside Park Church during the reading. “But I say love your enemies, pray for those who persecute you,” Ripp recites. Although this is a sentiment the congregation presumably has been familiar with since Sunday School, it resonates with the room full of frenemies.

But first things first, the ..read more

We hope you don’t hate us too much for leaving you hanging last Monday. Last week’s episode, “Siblings with Benefits,” was filled with the usual drama, but this week, “Miss Conception,” was so boring I heard crickets chirping on set. We’ll try to make some sense of it.

We start with a meeting between Leeanne and Leslie, where they discuss the drama that went down at Connie’s auction. In case you missed it, discussion of Kalyn and Tyler’s sex life was trumpeted ..read more

Last night, I learned a few things while watching GCB. First of all, I’ve been misspelling Boobylicious, so my apologies on that. I discovered that church fundraisers are much more high profile events than galas like the Longhorn Ball. I determined that Sheryl Crow looks better than ever. (Seriously. Is there a creepy portrait locked away somewhere?) And last, I found that the show seems to be getting a little better, don’t you think? Let’s recap.

The episode—entitled “Forbidden Fruit”—opens with ..read more

This weekend I, like moviegoers worldwide, stood in line for the release of Hunger Games. Call it a job related hazard, but as others cringed over the storyline of young people being forced to slaughter each other while the world watches via live telecast, I couldn’t help comparing the film to Style Network’s Big Rich Texas.

I came to the following conclusion: The Hunger Games, complete with hot, arrow wielding teens falling in love while being hunted by runway models with ..read more

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. Mad Men returned with much fanfare last night. Unfortunately, during the second hour—shortly after Megan’s provocative performance of “Zou Bisou Bisou—I had to go from AMC to ABC for GCB. I suspect Kim Gatlin and I were the only two people watching in all the land. Sad times. Anyway, let’s recap.

The fourth episode, “A Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing” opens at church. Amanda has had the audacity to wear ..read more

An alert Frontrow follower leads us to information concerning Big Rich Texas cast member (and daughter of Pamela Martin Duarte) Hannah Gelbart. Remember, she went to Mizzou before dropping out and taking off to California claiming Missouri is way too cold.

The Columbia Daily Tribune reported:

University of Missouri police made the following arrests and issued summonses from Nov. 11 to Nov. 17.

Hannah Aerial Gelbart, 18, of 1005 Maryland Ave., false identification, possession of drug paraphernalia, possession of 35 grams or less ..read more

Yesterday I happened to catch something called Shahs of Sunset, a new program on Bravo brought to us courtesy of Ryan Seacrest. Here’s what it’s about: vile people who say vile things like, “I don’t like ants, and I don’t like ugly people.” They also trash H&M and go to pool parties. It’s the worst of the worst—which is good for our purposes. It made watching GCB a lot easier.

Sure, last night’s episode—”Love Is Patient”—very much tested my patience. There ..read more

As I watched episode 5 of Style Network’s Big Rich Texas, I felt compelled to reevaluate the life choices that led me to the recapping of this show. But I found inspiration in Tyler, a guy who discovered inner-peace while wearing a pink t-shirt, working for his mother in the beauty pageant biz.

He’s receiving praise for his first big assignment, a brochure. Leslie can’t get over her son’s ability to use a Word template and tells him, “You’re a genius.”

Kalyn ..read more

You’ll find more scoop on Melissa’s pageant days in the episode 5 recap. 

UPDATE: Melissa Poe of Big Rich Texas was in the 1990 Miss Texas USA pageant as Miss Carrollton. I haven’t found anything about Melissa also being Miss Dallas.

Big Rich Texas viewers were mystified by Melissa’s odd demeanor in episode 3 after she told Leslie she was a former Miss Dallas and Miss Carrollton. Via Facebook message, Melissa Poe confirmed that it was in 1989 and was the Miss ..read more

Leaving no stone of 1990s nostalgia unturned, area artist Ynfynyt Scroll aka former Observer ”North of the Dial” writer Rodrigo Diaz, has transformed the already danceable theme from the educational PBS children’s show, Bill Nye the Science Guy, into a remixed “club edit.”

The original was already hilarious; this is just as funny. If the chants of “BILL BILL BILL BILL…” into, well, infinity, don’t make you smile this afternoon, then nothing will.

The show ran from 1993 to 1998 and its memorable theme song was ..read more

Last week on Style Network’s Big Rich Texas, viewers were left with an uneasy feeling when Melissa was super-cryptic about her pageant history, revealing only that she was Miss Carrollton and Miss Dallas but refusing to provide even the most basic information about her reign.

Luckily for viewers, I’m not just a writer; I’m also Nancy Drew.  Shortly before this week’s episode aired, I received the not-so-easy-to-get package I’ve been waiting for all week. And as soon as I’ve wasted more precious time ..read more

As I’m sure you know, GCB has created a bit of a furor. According to Newt Gingrich, the show is just another example of how anti-Christian Hollywood is. With all due respect to Newt, he’s missing the point. To paraphrase a Seinfeld episode, this shouldn’t offend him as a Christian person. It should offend him as a comedian. (He’s a comedian, yes?) I think the main problem I’m still having with this show is that, from all accounts, Amanda was ..read more

This week’s episode of Big Rich Texas probably sparked a DEFCON 5 phone call by Rick Perry to an intern who immediately screeched up on two wheels at Bonnie’s pad, threw a sac over Whitney’s head and then dumped her across state lines with a warning never to return.

But even if that mission was a success, you can’t un-ring a bell.

So viewers worldwide could possibly be under the impression that Whitney Whatley is an adequate representation of Texas. And that ..read more

Once upon a time, there was a girl named Amanda Stopper Vaughn (played by Leslie Bibb) who was a mean girl back in the day while attending high school in Dallas. She wasn’t a Regina George/Claire Standish/Jessica Wakefield kind of mean girl exactly. (I know. I’m pushing 40. I’m still very excited about Diablo Cody’s upcoming take on Sweet Valley High.) Amanda was more of a sociopath. In lieu of slam books, she spread false rumors about a friend having ..read more

Last week on Style Network’s Big Rich Texas, viewers were baffled when Pam did a Michael Jackson and appeared for season 2 with a new face, pretending like nothing happened.

That incident better prepared fans to cope with this episode in which Bonnie impersonates Dexter and sets up a full kill room in the garage to analyze blood splatter for a murder mystery book she’s writing.

She calls Whitney in to assist. Over a blow-up doll who is about to meet a ..read more

Now don’t jump to conclusions, Pamela Martin-Duarte could be from Planet Ork where, like Mork, they age in reverse.

But Big Rich Texas fans are certainly taking note of Duarte’s new look. I also wondered if my eyes were playing tricks on me so I decided to investigate.

In the upper left photo we have Duarte in 2006 (compliments of Paper City). Follow the clockwise progression to the season 2 premiere, lower left.

Maybe she just got a night’s rest.

Remember Whose Line Is It Anyway? There were funny men (and women) sitting on barstools, boxes of strange props, a host named Drew Carey, and loads of hilarity ensuing from the concept of going completely scriptless.

Since the Emmy-nominated show ended, standouts Colin Mochrie and Brad Sherwood have teamed up to keep the improvisational jokes rolling with the aptly named road show “An Evening with Colin and Brad.” We’ve got two tickets to give away, good for their 8 p.m. show ..read more

Style Network, having already proven their inability to recruit reps from Dallas’ elite social circles, has added a new mother/daughter trio to the lineup. I had hoped one of them would be ballsy enough to shove the season one ladies aside and finally knock Pamela Martin Duarte off her yoga matt.

But after watching the premiere, I have little faith that party planner DeAynni can get the job done.  And it’s not because she lives in Colleyville, spells her name really weird and ..read more