Dallas native Iliza Shlesinger is so much more than a hot blonde. She also happens to be one feisty comedian and the youngest and only female winner of Last Comic Standing. Her accolades include a half hour stand-up special on Comedy Central Presents, appearances on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon and Chelsea Lately, and a hosting gig on CBS’ syndicated dating show Excused. As if that weren’t enough to add to her resume, Shlesinger is currently in talks with VH1 to develop her own late night talk show as well.
Shlesinger’s humor stems from everyday life occurrences including dating, the complicated world of female friendships, and the hilarious failures of society. Her impression of women communicating like dolphins is worth checking out. Although, if you’re at work or anywhere near someone who will judge you for listening to profanity, I would recommend saving it for later. Shlesinger is bringing the funny to the Lakewood Theatre on Saturday, December 1st to film her one-hour special. All tickets are free so, if like me, you’re broke but always in the mood for a laugh, this is as perfect and convenient of a night out as it gets.
FrontRow: What time do you usually go to sleep?
Iliza Shlesinger: I’d say anywhere between 1:30 and four in the morning.
FR: If you could choose anyone to be leader of the free world, who would it be?
IS: Can I pick myself? It would be between me and Jon Stewart.
FR: What do you make of the commercialization of youth culture?
IS: That’s pretty much our culture in general. I think that’s a boring question. That’s going to be a long answer. I think exploitation can be fun if done right. As long as you’re not feeling bad about yourself, there’s nothing wrong with it.
FR: If you could choose anyone in the world as your partner, who would it be and why?
IS: My long-haired dachshund, Blanch. We’re already married.
FR: What instrument do you wish you played?
IS: I wish I played the drums and the guitar. I’m confident in the fact that I will one day wake up and play both of them miraculously. I’m always doing air guitar and air drumming at the gym and in my car and I’m so worried that someone is just going to come up to me and be like, “You’re doing it wrong!”
FR: What do you hate most about performing?
IS: I don’t hate anything. I could do without the drip of serotonin that’s gone when I get off stage, which is why a lot of comics are depressed. I hate how unpredictable showbiz can but it also makes it awesome. I do hate having to watch bad comics, though.
FR: Who would you want to tour with most, who you’ve never toured with before?
IS: I tour by myself with Blanch in a bag. I don’t think I’d want to tour with anyone because when you’ve been doing it alone for so long and as a headliner you want to be the headliner. But, there’s so many comics that I think are funny like Pablo Francisco, Sebastian Maniscalco, and Katt Williams. Also, Sam Kinison, even though he’s dead.
FR: If you weren’t a comic and had the talent and circumstances to do anything else, what would it be?
IS: I’m really creative so I think I’d like to make gift baskets for a living. I like crafts. Or I’d be an archaeologist. Or a cat, they have more of a sense of self and they’re flexible.
FR: How does the theory of evolution and natural selection make you feel?
IS: I feel like natural selection isn’t doing it’s job when I see all the stupid people in our country. Stupid people are breeding at a very quick rate, so I don’t know when evolution stops but it needs to speed up. If you look at the majority of reality TV, you can see why smart people are not winning.
FR: If global warming melted the ice caps covering 90 percent of the known world with water, what city would you hope was spared so you could live there?
IS: I live in LA so I’d probably pick there. But, just for my love of all the things that I own, not for LA.
FR: What is the best thing (food/substance/drink/thing) you ever put in your body?
IS: Probably oxygen. I also love Red Bull. It’s not good for you, but it’s pretty awesome. I’m a Red Bull purist. I love water, but Red Bull is pretty good. I also like bacon. Maybe Red Bull with a side of bacon. Also, Sour Patch Kids and half a Dr. Pepper. An entire one is too much.
FR: If immortality was achievable by downloading your consciousness into a database and spending eternity in a virtual reality, would you do it?
IS: No, that sounds awful. I’m exhausted as it is.